Reggie Fils-Aime, who apparently wears chin polish now, asks the million dollar question in this awkwardly presented video — if you don’t own a 3DS, what’s wrong with you?

The shiny-faced meat-slab asks this question as he kicked off seven minutes of desperate appealing, as he attempts to convince the world that the 3DS had cool stuff coming. In fairness, what Nintendo offers appears to be something of a mixed bag, with some legit interesting stuff and some boring or long-known items on the menu.

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Reggie promises increased eShop output with games likeFreakyforms,Pushmo,Dillon’s Rolling WesternandSwapnote. He also reminds us aboutSuper Mario 3D LandandMario Kart 7, before tossing in a quick plug forThe Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword.

Fils-Aime is so insincere and blatant in his scripting, but I find him so watchable. I don’t know why.

3DS games for sale

3DS and Wii U credit

Nintendo Switch StreetPass

StreetPass

3DS and Wii U

The Netflix Wii U app

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Pokémon Bank, Transporter and Home logos